That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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