Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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