Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
