things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
