i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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