we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
