got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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