Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
