what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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