I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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