So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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