Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
