bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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