You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
