some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
