Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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