A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
