2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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