she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
