Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize