she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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