do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
