AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
