I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
