I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
try to milk me bitch
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