If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
