is your mom at the bar?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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