He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
