so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
