Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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