You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
