if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
