he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
