I'm drive I can fine osifer
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
