physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
