He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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