I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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