uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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