Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
