Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
