Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
