Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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