I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
