I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
