Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
