How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
