Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
As shirtless as possible
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
