but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
