I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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