I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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