Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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