We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
