Dual....:-)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
