Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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