oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I have already put on my inside pants.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
True college students do jello shots in the library
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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