So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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