is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
