He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
