I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
jump out the window naked night went bad
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