I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
one might say we're banned from that church
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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