K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
