I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
