I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
