For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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