We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
