meet me or not, i'm out of control
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
