Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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